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'Vision-off?'

On the day that Gary Lineker reveals he's asked the BBC to pay him slightly LESS money this year - give that man a crisp! - they've revealed changes to the way our Eurovision song is being selected - oh, GIVE over, BBC! NOBODY within Europe is EVER going to vote for us ever again! We could ask Adele and Ed Sheeran to write and perform a song together - it might be the best love song ever and sell a billion but we'd STILL come last - just behind the 77 year-old Polish washer-woman with only one tooth and a 3-string balalaika. You know, we might just as well enter someone who's getting slightly past it and has a track-record of singing off-key.... (and if 'she' happens to be busy that night perhaps Rylan might like to have a go - well, he's doing everything else on TV at the moment!)

I love the story about the woman who dreamed that some lads were about to steal her engagement ring so she swallowed it - in the dream - with a glass of water; when she awoke, guess what? Down the hatch it'd gone! She'd acted-out what she was dreaming! Rather than allowing nature to take it's course her doctor decided they'd better get it back out as it's a ring with sharp edges (matron) - it's now back on her finger and she's looking forward to saying 'I do'. I hope they don't want her necklace, watch and ear-rings as well in the next dream or she'l be walking down the aisle like a small branch of H Samuel....

Have you seen the video of Nicole Sherzinger howling her eyes out on 'Australia's got talent'? Very emotional, bless her - a young man entered stage-left and got his didgeridoo out. Enough to bring anyone to tears.

Remarkably, they pay me for this! Why not start your day with me on the radio tomorrow morning? "Alexa - play Signal 2 radio from Tune In" / regional DAB & 1170AM / tap the app (download it, it's great!) / signal2.co.uk  :-)