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''Oi, Robocop and Cyanide - come on in for your tea!"

President Trump has the whole world giggling this morning by telling us ''The kidney has a very special place in the heart''.... now I'm no biologist but even I know that doesn't sound QUITE right! Maybe that's why their sausages taste a bit different from ours - I must ask Wayne walker about it....

For the second day in a row our Signal 2 Music Challenge went right to the line! The mug was eventually snaffled by Ian from Biddulph - could be you tomorrow but for goodness sake, stop DOING this to me! It's not good for my heart - or my kidneys. Or even my sausage.

Did you know there are certain names that you're not allowed to use on birth certificates? I see 'Cyanide' has been refused (unsurprisingly) as have 'Robocop', 'Prince William' and 'Nutella'. ("What do you want for your tea, Nutella?" "Oooooh, yes please!")

Here's a 'revenge' story that's gone viral - picture the scene; supermarket, archetypal 'little old lady' (I'm not being patronising, she was very short!) and somewhat taller young woman doing a bit of shopping.... Elderly lady; ''You couldn't reach me that piece of meat down, could you?'' Other woman - called Katie, by the way - duly obliged.... to then be sternly told (maybe not in these exact words but along these lines) "Just look at those tattoos on your arm - people like you are REALLY lowering standards here in Waitrose!" Slightly stunned at the unwarranted criticism after her kindness Katie stood open-mouthed for a moment before deftly removing the meat from the old lady's basket, popping it BACK on the top shelf and calmly walking away..... how fabulous is that? Not sure what the elderly lady had for dinner - maybe a slice of humble pie....

I'm not sure about telling Alexa my medical symptoms, despite what the NHS say - I mean, what if it's something personal, like a rash below the gusset? I'm not telling HER! She might want to kiss it better or something..... 

Me and you - Signal 2 - every weekday morning from 6 - turn me on, baby!